Federal Blood Quantum Investigations

FBQI

We seek to expose people's blood quantum.

Got a grudge? Email us.

Services

  • ★★★★
    Ancestry.com searches
  • Accurate
  • ★★★★★
    Finding unskilled journalists to take the bait

Pretendian Task Force

  • Kendian Leroux

    Associate Professor. Wrote a book based on internet forum posts. aka: Anonymous Collective.

  • Karendian TallBear

    Associate Professor. Single polyamorist. Survivor of pretendian pandemic.

  • Karendian Vowel

    100% Genuine Métis™ writer and pretend lawyer. "Jeff Bezos is awful! Check out my Amazon gift list."

  • Karendian Keeler

    Federally recognized Pretendian list co-creator. "It's not reconnection if I don't like you"

  • Kendian Cornsilk

    Staff genealogist. "Don't ask me about Cherokee Freedmen"

  • Kendian "PerpWalker" Thomas

    Head of Human Resources. Provides one-on-one sexual harassment seminars.

  • Karendian Costantino

    High priestess of several Facebook pages. “I’m not anti-Black, That's the color of my hair”

  • Kendian Coburn

    Assistant Professor. "Calling others fake makes me feel less white"

  • Karendian Midge

    Poet, Statistician and Satire Judge. “Pretendians are 54% of the US population”

  • Kendian Perry

    Assistant to Keeler. Living in the UK, maintains his roots by uprooting others.

Pretendians in the Press

  • CBC: Indigenous filmmaker wants fines, jail time for 'pretendians' who misrepresent their identity

  • APTN: Time to charge those pretending to be Indigenous with fraud: Cree lawyer

Frequently Asked Questions

Q: Nobody likes blood quantum. How do you get away with this?
A: We use words like "tenuous" and "distant" and journalists are none the wiser.
Q: Judging people by blood?
A: Although it has never worked in the past, we believe it will this time. Previous attempts to enforce racial pedigrees didn't have high speed internet.
Q: Are you working on anything else?
A: We are developing a browser extension that puts blood quantum next to names eg: [[[Louis Riel 1/8th]]].
Q: What about Tinder?
A: We reached out to the developers of tinder to see if they can add a BQ filter.
Q: What about defendians?
A: Defendians protecting Pretendians cannot be our future. The Pretendian protection racket must end.