Federal Blood Quantum Investigations

FBQI

We seek to expose people's blood quantum.

Got a grudge? Email us.

Services


  • Ancestry.com searches


  • Accurate


  • Finding unskilled journalists to take the bait


Pretendian Task Force


  • Kendian Leroux

    Associate Professor. Wrote a book based on internet forum posts. aka: Anonymous Collective.

  • Karendian TallBear

    Associate Professor. Single polyamorist. Survivor of pretendian pandemic.

  • Karendian Vowel

    100% Genuine Métis™ writer and pretend lawyer. "Jeff Bezos is awful! Check out my Amazon gift list."

  • Karendian Keeler

    Federally recognized Pretendian list co-creator. "It's not reconnection if I don't like you"

  • Kendian Cornsilk

    Staff genealogist. "Don't ask me about Cherokee Freedmen"

  • Kendian "PerpWalker" Thomas

    Head of Human Resources. Provides one-on-one sexual harassment seminars.

  • Karendian Costantino

    High priestess of several Facebook pages. “I’m not anti-Black, That's the color of my hair”

  • Kendian Coburn

    Assistant Professor. "Calling others fake makes me feel less white"

  • Karendian Midge

    Poet, Statistician and Satire Judge. “Pretendians are 54% of the US population”

  • Kendian Perry

    Assistant to Keeler. Living in the UK, maintains his roots by uprooting others.

Pretendians in the Press


  • CBC: Indigenous filmmaker wants fines, jail time for 'pretendians' who misrepresent their identity

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  • APTN: Time to charge those pretending to be Indigenous with fraud: Cree lawyer

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Frequently Asked Questions

Can't find an answer? Don't hesitate to reach out!.

Q: Nobody likes blood quantum. How do you get away with this? A: We use words like "tenuous" and "distant" and journalists are none the wiser.

The sky is blue due to something called 'Rayleigh scattering'. Basically, light interacts with the air and scatters. However unlike normal scattering (like you would have with a light in a room), this scattering is proportional to the wavelength of the light. Hence higher frequency light (like blue light) is scattered more strongly, while the other colours tend to follow the path of normal sunlight!

Q: Judging people by blood? A: Although it has never worked in the past, we believe it will this time. Previous attempts to enforce racial pedigrees didn't have high speed internet.


Q: Are you working on anything else? We are developing a browser extension that puts blood quantum next to names eg: [[[Louis Riel 1/8th]]].


Q: What about Tinder? A: We reached out to the developers of tinder to see if they can add a BQ filter.


Q: What about defendians? A: Defendians protecting Pretendians cannot be our future. The Pretendian protection racket must end.